Adventures in Babysitting
by poxelda
Summary: Jack and Mac vs. 14 year-old. Warning for one swear word and implied violence.


The concussion, Mac decided. In hindsight, it had to be the concussion he'd gotten from their previous mission. That and Jack. Mac scowled as he navigated the endless tracks of uniform houses in LAs endless suburbs. He glanced at the ripped piece of paper in his hand having to squint to read his own scrawl.

Mac had no idea what to expect. Sally Weathers, the head nurse at Phoenix, was his nemesis in a lot of ways. He respected her and reluctantly had to accept he felt better when she was part of the medical team when he'd been hurt or sick enough to feel death's fingers run through his hair. Not that he'd ever admit it, and he would rather be dropped in a vat of acid than ever say it out loud. Mac didn't understand why she had to be so evil about it. From sneaking up on him and stabbing him constantly to nagging and berating him endlessly, she went out of her way to make his unwanted visits to medical as miserable as possible. And she enjoyed doing so, Mac knew it as sure as he knew how to make a bicycle. Evil elf!

He would never hear the end of it if he got a ticket, especially to Sally's house. His beloved, caring...sadistic nasty partner-he was in on it with the wicked nurse. They had come to him when he was dizzy and nauseous and somehow by the end of the visit Mac had agreed to babysitting Sally's fourteen year old sister Sam. Mac glanced at the paper again and realized he had driven around the same block twice and it was nowhere near the right address. He smiled, maybe he could get out of it by staying lost? Mac sighed. In the end, she was part of the Phoenix family, and they took care of each other. Sally had been desperate. Jack had agreed but for some reason Sally thought that Jack and Sam would get in worse trouble than if she had left Sam alone. Mac had to admit she had a point. Why was he voted to be the adult in the room? He just wanted to go home and sleep. Doc Carl had said he didn't have a concussion (for once), but what else could explain Mac agreeing? He accepted that Boze and Riley had romantic commitments to their respective new loves, but why not Matty? She could control even the hardest terrorist with a single glare. Surely she could keep a 14 year old girl in line? Sally said Matty refused saying that she babysat Jack and Mac all day why the hell would she want to on one of their rare nights off?

Not that Sam was a bad kid-not that she was a criminally bad kid-not that...ok she was kind of a bad kid. Mac winced. OK, she really wasn't and he immediately felt guilty for thinking it. When she was little, she worshipped Mac. He adored her too. She was a bundle of energy and curiosity. She would ask him questions about everything-specifically about bombs and "spy stuff."

Mac smiled thinking of the times he'd sat across from the girl while getting fleeced in poker as she constantly adjusted the intricate puffy dresses Uncle Bozer had made for her. Good times. She looked like a miniature version of the Evil Elf, but didn't have half the wickedness. Mac's smile soured. Then came puberty.

Sam had given up Mac the same day she wore her last fancy dress. Her allegiance had shifted to Jack. She started wearing black T-shirts and Jeans, leather wrist cuff, and sturdy combat boots with soft rubber souls. She had died her red hair black and wore it in a severe bob. Under the straight wall of bangs, her blue eyes had shifted from innocent pools to sharp diamonds ready to cut the world into pieces. Just like Jack when the man was in full Delta mode. This was when she was happy. The idea of facing her full wrath made Mac squirm.

Mac sighed. Finally he pulled up in front of Sally's house. He wasn't sure what he expected-a dark castle with a permanent black cloud and terrifying demons in every window? Instead an ordinary light blue adobe ranch house sat in a neat patch of thick green house. Jack's Shelby was already in the drive. Mac did a 3-point in the neighbor's drive and parked along the street. He took a steadying breath and thought about taking a percocet or two. His head already felt like it was smooshed in a nutcracker. Time to man up. Mac glanced at his watch as he walked to the front door feeling like ISIS was about to behead him-kind of wishing ISIS would behead him. Ten hours. How bad could it be?

Mac paused at the door wondering if he should knock-or run away. Mac strode in just wanting to get this done. Mac found himself in a living room. He stared around him surprised again. Instead of bats in the belfry, it was a lived in comfortable room. A plush couch with tasteful pillows waited for someone to watch TV. Two recliners, book shelves. Mac stepped in feeling warm and welcome. Mac gulped. Deer probably felt warm and welcome in front of a rifle too.

Mac studied the pictures on the wall as he followed the sound of voices down a long narrow hallway. The frames held tiny windows into worlds of love. Mac smiled at a typical kid's drawing of stick figures in front of a misshapen house with a sunny sky. With the clown bright red curls the pair was obviously Sally and Sam. Other than the smaller one holding a sparking bomb, it was normal and charming.

Mac paused in front of a picture of the Weathers family. Sally and Sam definitely favored their mother. The only differences were wrinkles and the lack of evil in the oldest woman's elfin features. The dad was tall with wheat colored hair. He looked distracted and wore a Mr. Rogers blue sweater. The rest of the family had hands on each others shoulder or interlocked, Dad's arms hung at his side. Mac felt a lump in his throat. He had a few pictures like this too. He didn't display them. Mac stopped in front of another picture of the family. Everyone was younger. The father had a smile and blended in with the loving air of the rest of the family. Mac frowned. Tow headed twin boys stood in front of the foursome. The picture obviously had been taken in a single second between the boys wriggling. Mac knew Sally's folks had died in a car wreck, but she had never said anything about having brothers. Mac realized how little he knew about Nurse Weathers.

"No, see you want this to be flat. A serrated edge can get stuck on a rib, you want to cut right here-"

"Do you aim at the kidneys themselves or the renal arteries?"

"Either will work, but the arteries are the sweet spot. Of course the best option would be to have a gun to plug the sucker out of striking distance."

"If you're in the middle of battle how do you maintain steadiness long enough to score a direct headshot?"

"You don't go for the headshot, aim for the body or whatever's most available. Knees are good."  
"They can't hop after you!" Sam gave a girlish giggle.

"That and they're still alive if you have to extract information." Mac slapped his forehead and stepped into the kitchen. Jack and Sam looked up and grinned at him. A variety of battle knives and guns filled the table. Jack held his favorite, a twelve-inch KA-BAR Tanto.

"Uncle Mac!" Sam exclaimed as she ran to Mac and wrapped him in a tight hug. Mac shot Jack a glare over her head. Jack shrugged and mouthed "What?"

"Hey, Sam. What's going on here?" Mac truly tried to keep dismay out of his voice. Tried, and failed. Sam bristled her blue eyes narrowing. Mac turned away and moved to the table. It truly was an array of weapons. Mac picked up a pair of brass knuckles wincing at the dried blood in the scratches.

"Chill, dude. A girl's gotta learn to take care of herself."

"Yeah Mac, chill." Mac turned to find both standing with their arms crossed glaring at him. Mac rubbed his forehead and dropped the knuckles on the table.

"I'm not sure if your sister would appreciate-"

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her." Jack said. Sam grin whirled and the two co-conspirators high fived. Mac regretted not bringing in the percocet. He decided to focus on his partner.  
"Jack, she's fourteen-" Jack jutted his chin out.

"I had my first gun at eight." Jack protested. Sam's grin widened but she didn't say anything content to watch the two men bicker. Mac crossed his arms.

"Do you want to explain to Sally something happened to Sam?" Jack paled and glanced at the girl. Sam stepped forward and stood toe to toe with Mac.

"Nothing's going to happen. Besides, that's why you two _grown ups_ are here, isn't it?" Mac felt his face flush with anger. He opened his mouth to complain when he heard a muffled _Enter the Sandman_. Sam sniffed.

"Excuse me." She pulled out her cell and walked into the living room. Mac gritted his teeth and whirled on Jack.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He snarled. Jack smiled.

"She's good, Mac, really good-" Mac grabbed Jack by his T and shook him.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Jack looked at Mac confused.

"What do you mean? Sally said to bring stuff to keep her occupied." Jack pulled Mac's hands off him and leaned forward, "She said Sam has been sneaking out. Sally denies it, but I think it's a boy." Jack's eyes sparked with enthusiasm. Mac backed up.

"A boy? Really?" Jack rolled his eyes.

"No need to act so surprised, she's 14." Mac's jaw clenched. All the statistics of date rape in teens, human trafficking and violence toward teen girls by boyfriends ran through his brain like ticker-tape. Jack, of course, knew his partner's mind. "Relax, bud, she's smart and a good kid." Mac glanced at the armory on the dining room table. He rolled his eyes and groaned as sparks of fire crossed his vision.

"I hope you're right." He muttered. He turned to the cupboards. Jack crossed to him and nudged Mac in the ribs.

"Besides, if you're gonna be bad, you gotta be good. Am I right?" Mac rubbed his temples and turned to go into the living room.

"Make her food." He moaned. Jack looked at him worried. Before he could ask if Mac was ok, Mac shot the older man a tired glare. "After all, you're both the same age." Mac turned and stomped away. Mac dropped into one of the recliners feeling as if he were sinking deep into marshmallow. Before he realized he was tired, he was asleep.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Mac was grading the midterm papers of a class of beautiful women in bikinis in a college physics class who were leaning over him giggling and arguing about theories about the mass gap in the Yang-Mills problem. Painful voices broke through jarring him awake. Mac let out a soft annoyed moan refusing to open his eyes. Mac sighed as he heard the familiar bravado of Beethoven's _Ode to Joy_. There was only one reason Jack would be listening to the classic- _Die Hard_. Mac double-sighed. Of course Jack's school of mayhem would include _Die Hard_. Jack's idea of the perfect Christmas movie. Sam peppered Jack with questions.

"If they are shooting the LAWS from the 4th floor why did they carry them to the 35th? Why did the guy shoot at John from the top of the table? I would have jumped off and gone full auto-"

"3 round bursts, saves you ammo and gives you more control." Jack tried to interrupt.

"And what the hell is up with the poofy hair and shoulder pads. The girls all looked like breakable linebackers." Mac burst out laughing. Jack shot him a glare. Sam whacked Jack on the shoulder. She wanted answers. Jack did the thing most adults did when stumped by a child.

"Don't you have homework?" He growled. Sam's back stiffened and she opened her mouth ready to lay into Jack when Metallica saved him. Sam's cold eyeballing told Jack they would continue this conversation later. Mac held his belly as he let out a full guffaw. Jack sat back and crossed his arms.

"Don't see what's so funny." He growled not meeting Mac's gaze.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Jack and Mac decided to keep going with the movie marathon Jack had planned. They were half way through _Dirty Harry_ when Mac realized they hadn't heard from Sam in quite awhile. Mac frowned. He was never a type of kid to get into trouble...well not sneaking out...ok, he did but he and Bozer only got caught twice and it had been Bozer's fault…

"Jack, where's Sam?" Jack held up a hand as he leaned forward.

"Shh, this is the best part," Mac rolled his eyes waiting as Jack mouthed the words along with Clint Eastwood, "I know what you're thinking, 'Did he fire six shots or only five,' Well to tell you the truth in all the excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being that this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?" Jack sank back a content smile on his lips.

"Man, that is so good! They don't write movies like that anymore."

"Jack!" Jack jumped startled.

"What?"

"Where's Sam?" Jack frowned.

"Doing homework." Mac shook his head a niggling worry churning in his gut.

"I don't think so." Mac strode from the room and climbed the stairs. Jack turned off the TV and followed in his wake. Mac headed to the room with a sign hanging on it, "Sam's room, absolutely no admittance to anyone without the clearance! Ps. That ain't you. All violators will be used for target practice. PPs. I never miss and I have a .50 cal." Mac hesitated before knocking.

"Don't worry, bud. Sally would only let me give her a BB gun." Mac's mouth hung open as Jack pushed him aside and pulled out his Barretta. Mac grabbed his wrist.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jack narrowed his eyes in full Delta mode.

"I was a boy once, I know what they can get up to." Mac nodded.

"Ok, but...Don't kick in the door!," Mac shook his head as he turned and knocked, "Sam, you ok in there?" Both men waited.

"Screw this." Jack growled and opened the door his Baretta leading. He pouched it when there was no immediate threat. And no Sam. Jack turned to Mac and scowled. He shoved past Mac and stormed down the stairs pulling out his phone.

"Hey Ri, I need you to ping Sam-"

"Already? Ha! You just scored me $20 and a mani-pedi."

"Wha-you know what I don't care. It's important she's gone out to meet a boy-"

"What? Oh my God, how will she ever survive?"

"Riley, this isn't funny.  
"No, Jack it is. Overprotective much?"

"RILEY…"

"Ok, ok, ok. Calm down, give me a sec." Jack leaned over the weapons on the table trying to decide what he would need for the mission, "That's not good." Jack stood up straighter his hand white knuckled on the phone.

"What? What's wrong?"

"She's in a car-"

"WHAT?" Jack exploded. It was worse than he thought. He buckled the sheath for the KA-BAR on his left thigh and chose his biggest growler. He buckled the .500 S&W Magnum in a shoulder holster. As he armed, Mac joined him. Jack put the phone on speaker as he checked the gun's load.

"Looks like they're heading for Mulholland."

"Oh. Hell. No." Jack growled. She was not going parking up on lover's lane. Sam wasn't losing her virginity on his watch. Jack turned and shared a serious nod with Mac. Both men strode to the Shelby ready to take care of business.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Jack pulled out his flash and slowly checked each bumper they passed. Mac was doing the same from the other end. They met in the middle.

"I don't see anything."  
"Me either."

"This is not good."

"I know." A scream jerked both around. Mac pulled ahead. He rounded a corner. Sam was on the ground fighting a grown man in front of a running sedan. The windows were fogged and the passenger's door in the back hung open. Another man and boy struggled to stand. Mac snarled and tackled the guy on top of Sam. Mac rained punched on the guy's face until he ran out of breath. He turned. Jack had kicked the other man unconscious. Sam sat curled up crying covering her chest where her T hung ripped. Mac kicked his guy hard in the gut again before he shed his jacket and crouched beside Sam. Sam jumped toward Mac and wrapped her arms around his neck as she burst into sobs reminding Mac how young the girl really was. He cooed comforting things rubbing her back as she shook in his arms.

Jack watched the scene his face hardening into a statue of vengeance. He turned on the boy who was whimpering as he held a knife wound in his upper thigh. Another six inches too the left...Jack thought. He yanked out the huge handgun and grabbed the front of the boy's shirt. Jack whirled and slammed the punk against the trunk of the car, hard. He flipped the kid over, grabbed the scrawny boy by the neck, and cocked the Magnum in the punk's left ear. The boy's face was white almost glowing in the car's headlight and his eyes were wide as bullseye targets. Jack narrowed his eyes feeling a wave of red rage creep up his neck.

"Who are you?" Jack hissed his voice a King Cobra of danger.

"N-no-" Jack wrinkled his nose and smiled as the kid pissed himself.

"Well, N-no, you have three seconds to give me a reason not to blow your fucking head off." The kid slumped against the car hyperventilating.

"I-I didn' do no...nothin' wrong." Jack leaned closer until he could see the blackheads on the guy's nose.

"Oh yeah, you did. How old are you?"

"Eigh...eighteen."

"You tried to rape a 14 year old girl who happens to be part of my family. I think I might save LA county the cost of a trial and kill you right here, right now."

"Please, please let my boy go." Jack's eyes tracked to the side as he half-turned facing the man he'd kicked. Jack heard the kid's gut churn. He tossed the kid to the ground and turned. He had a bigger fish to fry. He stormed to the man. Jack had never been so disgusted by another human being. He pounced on the man and hit him twice with the butt of the Magnum. He pushed the barrel against the man's nose hard enough to draw blood. The man pissed himself.

"Like father like son." He sneered. The man was sweating and his lips quivered. Jack realized he was crying. Jack punched him in the gut than butt stroked him twice more. Jack spat on the predator then stood up. He holstered the Magnum and crossed to Sam who stood close to Mac pulling his jacket tight around her. Mac had a protective arm around the girl and murmured into his phone.

"Ok, Matty, thanks." Jack grinned. Matty would take care of these scumbags far better than any police. Jack stepped to Sam and cupped her face.

"How are you doing, kiddo?" Sam wouldn't meet his eyes. She stared at the ground her bottom lip trembling. Jack bent forward and slowly engulfed the girl in a protective hug. She melted into his chest. He ran his hand through her mussed hair. He could feel her stuttering breath.

"Easy, darling. We got you. We got you." Jack could tell she was fighting tears. Jack pulled back and brushed hair out of her face.

"I...I'm so sorry, Jack. I was so scared...and...and he, they…were gonna...I'm sorry." Sam lost her battle with tears. Jack pulled her in close.

"Shh...kiddo. It's ok. I'm proud of you." He pulled back and looked into those wide pool of hurt innocence.

"Why? I was so...so scared."

"Scared is ok. You still took out two of 'em. I'm not sure I could have done better." Sam searched his face a small smile breaking through.

"Really?" Her voice was soft and young.

"Hell yeah!" The night brightened. Jack turned to see TAC team alpha pulled up and filed out, "I gotta go talk to my guys, ok?" Sam nodded and wiped her face.

"C'mon Sam, the Shelby's over here." Mac said softly as he led her away. Sam sat in the open passenger door. Mac crouched in front of her. Sam was pale but the immediate trauma was fading. Mac knew the deeper wounds would take longer.

"You ok?" Mac asked it mostly to get Sam talking. Sam wrapped a hand in Mac's shirt as if making sure he wouldn't leave. Mac held her other hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze. He waited in silence.

"I...I really liked him. He's a senior…" Sam looked down at the ground, "...and cute. I never thought...he'd, he'd…" Mac sighed and pulled her head to his shoulder.

"I know, Sam. I know. People like that know how to use people." Sam wiped her nose and looked away. Mac gently put a finger under her chin raising her gaze to his.

"Sam, this is not your fault."  
"I snuck out."

"I know. It was a mistake. You had no idea what that…" Mac paused editing out a series of R rated names he had for the predators, " _boy_ would do. No one deserves to be attacked like that. Especially not by someone you trusted. And Jack was right...you were totally a badass." Sam looked at him. For a second he saw the glint of admiration she used to have for him.

"Mac…" Mac put a finger against her mouth and shook her head.

"No. We're family, Sam."

"And no one fucks with family." Sam finished Jack's quote. Mac rolled his eyes and fought the urge to chide her for her language. Sam giggled.

Sam sat between them in the front seat on the drive home. She leaned her head against Jack's solid shoulder and held Mac's hand. Mac would squeeze every time she flinched or jumped to a sudden noise. By the time they got home, the girl was half asleep.

Jack ordered a full TAC team to secure the perimeter and both men stood watch as Sam got dressed for bed. She tearfully asked if she could stay up with them. Neither had expected anything else, although they pretended to appreciate her allowing them to protect her. She snuggled between them as they watched _Frozen_ , a favorite from childhood.

As soon as Sally heard from Matty what had happened she raced home. She sprinted into the house and stopped. All three were asleep on the couch, Mac and Jack bent toward Sam protectively. Sally smiled and let out a breath. Her sister had almost fallen into the hands of human traffickers. Sally shuddered at what could have happened. She turned off the movie, dimmed the lights and covered the trio with a fluffy blanket. She went to the kitchen and froze at the array of weapons on the kitchen table. She frowned. Jack, of course. Sally thought about how Sam had fought off two grown men and a boy. Matty had also told her how Jack and Mac reacted. Sally felt her eyes burn.

"That's my girl." She would have to lecture Jack, of course. She really didn't want to encourage Sam to think violence was the best way to handle situations-unless called for, but she would encourage Jack to add Sam to his helicopter-parent list. No, Sally corrected heading to bed. Jack already had her in that elite group. Sally would let Jack remind Sam what family really meant.

***** For those of you who haven't read any of my stories, you may not know who Sally and Sam are. They are two of my favorite recurring OC characters. I wanted to flush them out a little more while showing Mac and Jack...well, babysitting. I hope that I explained everything enough so previous knowledge was not mandatory. The questions about _Die Hard_ come from one of my favorite youtube stations-Cinemasins. The Dirty Harry quote comes from the first of the Dirty Harry movies (1971) starring Clint Eastwood (cleverly titled _Dirty Harry_ ) some of my childhood favorites (there's a reason I'm so demented :) ). Thanks to those entities that produced these movies, all rights are theres and I make no money from this. Thanks to all of you for reading and (hopefully) commenting (hint, hint). You guys are the best! -Pox


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